I am blessed with the fact that my mom is my daycare provider. Juliet waved and smiled as I headed out of the house. It was a lot harder for me than it was for her. The first day was a bit easier than I thought, I was so busy I didn't really get a chance to think much about baby J. The second day however was so hard, I finally came to the realization that there is no going back. I am back to work, stuck in the office missing my baby girl. I cried several times that day. It was a rough first week. I have been back to work for a month now and can now see a silver lining. It is not all that bad. There are pros and cons to everything.
The pros about going back to work:
1. Get dressed up and putting on make-up
This is one I truly enjoy. I get out of my yoga pants and in to something nice. My hair gets done and make-up is worn. Everyday I wake up early enough to put myself together before I start my day and it feels good to look put together.
2. Peaceful Lunch
I never knew how much I would appreciate this. There is nothing better than a warm, uninterrupted meal. This is the one meal that I don't have to rush or eat cold.
3. Car ride to and from work
I get to listen to whatever I want or be alone with my thoughts. I can play music, podcast, or even make a phone call without worrying about a screaming little one. I take advantage of this time to relax and listen to some feel good tunes.
4. Income
This one is self explanatory. I feel self-sufficient. Don't get me wrong it was nice being a stay at home mom but I always felt guilty spending when I wasn't contributing to our bank account. I know I shouldn't feel that way, but making my own money feels good and knowing that I am working to build a better future for my babies makes it worth it.
5. Social interactions
I get to see some of my girlfriends at work every day. It's nice to catch up and converse on things that are not related to baby or home life.
Here are a few of the not so good things…
1. Guilt of being away from baby
I don't think this one will ever get easier. It's rough leaving the little one for my mom to enjoy and have fun with while I'm at work. I know I will miss some firsts because most of her day is spent away from me. I think about this all the time and still debate if going back to work was the right thing.
2. House Duties get pushed aside
By the time I get home it's already 5:30. I play with Juliet for a bit, eat dinner, and attempt to get a chore done, before you know it it's time to get her ready for bed. Dishes get piled up, laundry is not done, and the living room looks like it got hit by a tornado. I am learning to go with the flow and be easy on myself and my husband. All we can do is try our best.
3. Marriage Suffers
This one I feel really bad about. Most days I barely have time to catch up with my husband. After working all day and finally getting home my first focus is Juliet. Sometimes while conversing with him about his day I easily find myself distracted with something Juliet is doing. By the time Juliet is in bed and our chores are taken care of we are both exhausted. I now realize how important it is to actively make an effort to make time for my husband.
I still deliberate here and there whether or not I should stay home or be a working mom but I am definitely learning to not think about this too hard and enjoy the little things. XoXo
What thoughts do you guys have on this matter?
XoXo,
Iris
I still deliberate here and there whether or not I should stay home or be a working mom but I am definitely learning to not think about this too hard and enjoy the little things. XoXo
What thoughts do you guys have on this matter?
XoXo,
Iris
